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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113908">Eyes of The Devil</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARStudios/pseuds/ARStudios'>ARStudios</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shane and Ryan's antics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends, Co-workers, Demon Ricky Goldsworth, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hurt Ryan Bergara, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Protective Shane Madej, Ricky Goldsworth Being an Asshole, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Scared Ryan Bergara, Shane Madej Being an Idiot, Whump, there's descriptions of violence but only at the end</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:29:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113908</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARStudios/pseuds/ARStudios</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan couldn't remember when Shane got a girlfriend, or when they subsequently broke up. He couldn't remember when that underlying unease that something about Shane seemed… off. Something about him didn’t feel real, didn’t feel genuine… didn’t feel fully human. Maybe it was just the way Ryan regarded him, the same other people would regard greek gods and goddesses but there was definitely something about Shane that didn’t quite sit right with him. He couldn't remember when he started seeing these things. Because Ryan knows if he did, it would absolutely destroy him.<br/></p>
<p> Ryan knew his feelings for Shane were getting way out of hand, too out of hand for him to control, for him to discard while remaining strictly professional with the beautiful man. All he wants to do is forget, forget all about his stupid thoughts, his stupid feelings, Shane, the stupid bastard who’s just too perfect for Ryan to help liking.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shane and Ryan's antics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan couldn't recall the last time he had a regular night's sleep. A sleep unbothered by nightmares, one that would stay consistent night through ‘till morning, one he could honestly wake up from feeling refreshed. Alas, any semblance of a peaceful night’s sleep avoids Ryan like anyone would the plague.</p>
<p>Ever since the last supernatural episode, he's been having… weird dreams to say the least. Dreams where he swears he's talking to the ghosts of those murdered within, it’s too vivid to be his own subconscious playing tricks on him. Details and conversations there’s no way he could concoct. He’s never been the most creative person, so for him to suddenly be so active in his unconscious state, is both fascinating and alarming.</p>
<p>That being said, Shane thinks he's losing it. And honestly? He might be.</p>
<p>Ah, yes, Shane. Shane Alexander Madej. His sarcastic, rat-looking coworker whom outsiders would say is Ryan’s best friends. Which, they are. Shane would say they’re like brothers. And, yeah, they’re close like that. It’s just... Ryan would describe their relationship as a hopeless one-sided crush. A crush he just can’t help.</p>
<p>Considering, Ryan couldn't remember the instant his heart started to beat a little faster around Shane or when his palms would get sweaty whenever the older man would smile at him, an act so insignificant would render Ryan a weak-kneed fool in love. He can’t remember when he first found his 'best friend' so goddamn perfect in every single aspect of the word. His golden brown hair cascading across his head like a waterfall, his warm hazelnut eyes that Ryan could lose himself in if he stared too long, that boyish smirk he had that makes Ryan so unbelievably happy, his gangly limbs and thin stature. Now that his feelings for his best friend have risen to the surface, he can’t help but fixate on every little detail about him until there’s nothing left to pinpoint. Rinse, and repeat.</p>
<p>He didn't remember when Shane got a girlfriend, or when they subsequently broke up. He couldn't remember when that underlying unease that something about Shane seemed… off. Something about him didn’t feel real, didn’t feel genuine… didn’t feel fully human. Maybe it was just the way Ryan regarded him, the same other people would regard greek gods and goddesses but there was definitely something about Shane that didn’t quite sit right with him. He couldn't remember when he started seeing these things. Because Ryan knows if he did, it would absolutely destroy him.</p>
<p>Ryan knew his feelings for Shane were getting way out of hand, too out of hand for him to control, for him to discard while remaining strictly professional with the beautiful man. All he wants to do is forget, forget all about his stupid thoughts, his stupid feelings, Shane, the stupid bastard who’s just too perfect for Ryan to help liking.</p>
<p>He just wants to forget it all. <em>Please… just stop.</em></p>
<p>“If ya insist, kid, I’ll help ya out. Name’s Ricky Goldsworth, pleasure to meet ya.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Name's Ricky Goldsworth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well um. My friend and I didn't expect so many of you already so we decided to add another chapter! We hope you enjoy! -ARStudios</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan’s been an avid believer of the paranormal for many years. Since he was a dumb teenager trying to deny their existence on the Queen Mary, only to come out convinced they really exist, thus was the beginning of his job at Buzzfeed where he and Shane tackle cases of ghouls and demons and all things supernatural. The evidence found in each of the cases both terrify and excite Ryan to no end, so just try to imagine his surprise when he comes home from work one day only to see a devilish figure sprawled casually out on his couch.</p>
<p>Of course Ryan jumped upon seeing someone-something in his apartment upon his arrival. He would’ve screamed too, had the… thing not been so damn nonchalant sitting there on his couch as if he paid the bills. Had he not been so scared having a stranger in his house, Ryan would be angry at the audacity of the thing.</p>
<p>The mystery figure appeared similarly to a human; besides its thick, curved devil-like horns protruding from each side of its head, the deep crimson skin so thin and taught against it’s form, you could easily discern it’s sharp bones, and the glaringly yellow eyes burning with what appears to be a fire dancing within its eyes.</p>
<p>The thing stares at Ryan for a few long seconds and Ryan can’t help but reciprocate. I mean, what the hell is he supposed to say? Go to Hell?</p>
<p>“Well, are you just gonna stand there? You should be rather tired after a long day of work. Come take a seat,” it finishes its sentence by patting the cushion next to it, the devilish smirk curled around its mouth like a sharpened whisker.</p>
<p>Sit down? How could he? A lightbulb goes off in his sluggish mind as he tries desperately to find a way out. Without bothering to worry about the figure watching as he does so, Ryan shakily reaches into his back pocket for his cell phone only to find it empty. He furrows his eyebrows and whips his head back to the creature now aimlessly swinging his phone between two gangly fingers. It smirks and dramatically gestures to the seat across from him, this time a sense of urgency in his stare that makes Ryan’s blood run cold.</p>
<p><em>Well this is it. This is where I fucking die,</em> Ryan chastises himself as he unsteadily forces himself to the chair before he hesitantly sinks down into, tense beyond belief. The second Ryan makes eye contact with the creature sitting across the coffee table from him, it’s gone in an instant. Ryan blinks and then the couch is empty.</p>
<p>Ryan shoots out of his seat faster than a bullet, his muscles trembling and body numb with both confusion and horror. <em>What the fuck? What the actual fuck is going on? Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck?</em></p>
<p>That’s the moment Ryan’s body clues into the new sensation overcoming his body. He finds himself at a loss whilst trying to identify the feeling. It’s a really strange feeling, almost completely indiscernible, almost like... he’s not himself. Like he’s aware of his body, movements and thoughts but he lacks the control to direct himself. He can’t even bring himself to speak.</p>
<p>Helplessly, he feels himself go almost completely limp, his shaky legs supporting his weight only just barely. <em>What the fuck is going on? What’s happening to me?</em> He panics, his thoughts racing a mile a minute as a deep laugh rings out around him. He goes stiff in response.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Ryan my dear. I’m Ricky, Ricky Goldsworth and I’ll be taking care of you from now on.” Ryan’s heart pounds against his chest like a sledgehammer striking a nail, his body overcome with an icy terror threatening to drown him. With whatever strength and awareness he has left, he tries to move, even just to wiggle his toes, but his attempts are proved to be futile when he comes to the dreaded realization that he can’t.</p>
<p><em>No, no, no, no, no, no. This isn’t happening, this cannot be happening. There’s no way...</em> He isn’t really being possessed, there’s no way this is actually happening. This has to be some sick prank or some weird hallucination or just some really fucked up nightmare he’s stuck in. There’s no way this is reality, this is what’s actually happening to him… Is it?</p>
<p>Ryan realizes, like a bucket of ice water to the face, that all the ghost hunts he and Shane have gone on are finally catching up to him. As Shane’s always been so brash to comment, Karma’s a bitch. <em>Oh, the irony.</em></p>
<p>So… what’s gonna happen now?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. An (Unwilling) Enticement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We are both so happy you guys liked yesterdays chapter! Here's chapter 2, we hope you enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan awakens in a cold sweat, panicked and dazed. He frantically scans the room around him to find that he’s lying on the floor of his living room, still in his work clothes from yesterday, sprawled out awkwardly on his rug.</p>
<p><em>Jesus what the hell happened last night?</em> He contemplates internally as he springs to his feet, his bones cracking from the rapid movement. He winces and stretches, carefully. <em>Not gonna do that again... holy ow!</em></p>
<p>The previous night’s events come flooding back to Ryan. His head swims and he sways on his feet, whirling around to inspect his surroundings. He peers back at the couch and looks through the kitchen, the bathroom, his bedroom, and finally approaches the front door. Shit, he forgot to lock it when he got back home after work. Locking it, Ryan shrugs. No harm done so it’s all fine.</p>
<p>But what about that thing… Ricky, he said his name was? Maybe it was just all a dream? Duh, of course it’s just a dream, that kind of shit wouldn’t just happen out of the blue like it did! And demons wouldn’t be so stupid as to show their true form to a human like that. It had to have just been a really weird fever dream. He’s been thinking about his best friend a bit too much and this was just his head putting him back into place.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that he’s made peace with the fact that it was just his mind, Ryan can’t help but shake the feeling that he just isn’t quite himself. He chalks it up to just the aftermath of experiencing a dream as weird and vivid as it was. Everything’s okay.</p>
<p>Trying not to dwell on his unease, Ryan proceeds with his morning routine; gets dressed, skin care/brushes his teeth, has breakfast, and heads to work with the intent to have a normal day where he can fall back into routine and forget all about his stupid dream. And it worked, for the most part. Everything seemed normal until he got to work. As soon as he enters the Buzzfeed building, he continues with his daily routine for work; gets his morning coffee and greets his colleagues as he regularly does. He gives his friend Ned a smile. They’ve known each other for years while working with Buzzfeed and ryan was happy that he and the rest of the try guys we’re starting their own company. However, all the normalcy he tries so hard to keep up crumbles the second he sees Shane.</p>
<p>The taller man strolls up to Ryan with a light smirk. He holds a cup of coffee in one hand and holds a satchel with the other. He wears a red flannel overshirt with a simple blank tee underneath, complete with a pair of jeans, a brown belt, and his hazel work boots. Ryan can’t help but linger on Shane’s appearance.</p>
<p>“Hey Boogara, what’s up?” Shane announces with a smirk, his tone playful and welcoming. Ryan can’t help but melt at the sound of his voice.</p>
<p>He usually isn’t the type to say what’s on his mind, especially when it comes to Shane because it usually has something to do with how good he looks or how handsome he is which is normally not something friends just say to one another. Unsure why today’s any different, everything he’s thinking just kind of slips out.</p>
<p>“Hey man, you look great today,” Ryan blurts out. As soon as he says it, the two boys freeze.</p>
<p><em>What the fuck?</em> Shane can’t help but wonder what’s up with Ryan as he scrutinizes his friend questionably. <em>What the hell was that? That isn’t like Ryan at all.</em></p>
<p><em>Oh god, oh fuck, you idiot, you absolute moron, you’ve done it, you’ve ruined everything</em>, Ryan can’t help but kick himself for what he just said. He stands completely rigid and stiff in shock, his face pale yet red at the same time. He feels sweaty and his muscles are weak. He’s horrified and shocked at the same time that he really just said that.</p>
<p>It’s silent for a few seconds, until something rings out in the eerily quiet air.</p>
<p>“Don’t kick yourself too hard, kid. That was all me,” A familiar deep voice echoes in Ryan’s head. Ryan can’t help but flinch at the sound of the voice in his head that isn’t his own. His body goes cold as realization dawns on him.</p>
<p><em>Oh no, oh fuck no. Don’t tell me… that was real…?</em> He doesn’t even realize it but a look of fear and horror crosses on his face, gaining his concerned friends’ attention who desperately tries to get his attention. He looks terrified, and Shane knows something’s wrong.</p>
<p>“Earth to Ryan, you good, bro?” Shane questions softly as he waves his hands in front of Ryan’s face. The shorter man quickly snaps out of his stunned stupor as he scrambles to quickly regain his composure. He chuckles, trying to add some levity to the tense and awkward atmosphere he created. Ugh, dipshit.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry about that. I-uh, I just remembered I forgot to get my mom her birthday gift,” Ryan chokes out, with a strained smile.</p>
<p>Shane raises an eyebrow, suspicious. “Isn’t your mom’s birthday in two months?”</p>
<p>Ryan bites his lip. “Y-yeah, but I was gonna order the-the gift off this website before the-the sale ended! Must’ve slipped my mind!” He gestures at himself with a wave movement, smiling. He laughs awkwardly and, albeit still suspicious, Shane joins in to humour the obviously distraught man.</p>
<p>“Okay, fair enough,” Shane says. “Smell ya later.” With that, Shane stalks away to his cubicle, leaving Ryan standing in the middle of the office awkwardly, exhausted.</p>
<p><em>Yeah,</em> he swallows thickly. <em>Something’s definitely wrong.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. It's Not What It Seems</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After that, Ryan began to do his absolute best to avoid Shane. As much as he just wanted to sit next to Shane the whole day and joke, he knew he couldn’t handle it. What if he randomly blurted something worse out? What if he accidentally confessed his true feelings? What if that prompted Shane to end their friendship?</p>
<p>All factors combined, Ryan knew the safest plan of action would be to avoid his best friend. As awful as it would be, ruining their friendship would be worse. So that’s what he did. He avoided Shane to the best of his abilities.</p>
<p>Fortunately, it appeared to be working. Ryan would look over and catch Shane staring at him. The fact alone that Shane would be staring at him made Ryan flush almost every time, prompting him to whirl back around in fear Shane would catch the red tint to his cheeks. God, Ryan’s such a wuss. Blushing like a schoolgirl at just the sight of Shane staring at him.</p>
<p>He can’t believe what in the actual fuck is going on with his life now. Some demon possessed him and he’s forced to act like everything’s fine; like it never even happened to begin with and he’s willingly avoiding Shane because of it and is forced to try to act as normal as he can whilst trying his best not to act casual. As much as it hurts him to be so distant toward his best friend and crush of many years, there's no way he could tell Shane about it ‘cause he’d just think Ryan’s gone mad.</p>
<p>Who knows, maybe he has and this is all just some disturbingly realistic hallucination. Maybe he should ask his mom if schizophrenia runs in the family…</p>
<p>Ryan mentally rolls his eyes as he feels himself stop typing midway. <em>Oh God… what the hell’s this demon plan to do with the rest of my life?</em></p>
<p>“Well, I’m so very glad you asked!” The sinister voice answered, echoing in his head. Ryan flinches and tries to remain calm and coordinated as he sneakily peers around him to see if anyone heard. Luckily, no one seems to have heard or seen a thing.</p>
<p>“Shut up!” Ryan hisses in response. He grimaces when he realizes he said that aloud. A coworker in his neighbouring cubicle shoots him a weird look so he returns it with an awkward grin before turning back to his work.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, doll. It’s just you and me up here in your cute little noggin. Only you can hear me,” It cackles, the shrill sound sending a flurry shivers down the man’s spine.</p>
<p><br/><em>What do you want?</em> Ryan thought as he felt the creature in his head grin. He squirms at the intrusive sensation.</p>
<p>“Well Ry, what I want is—”</p>
<p><em>Don’t call me that</em>.</p>
<p>“Is Ry-Ry better? Or maybe you prefer Bergie? Bergarie? Rya?” Ryan rolls his eyes and lets his head fall on his desk. He doesn’t even care that it makes a thump. “I wasn’t finished but I'll keep that in mind Ry-Ry,” the demon emphasises in a sing-song voice. Lugging his head back up, Ryan shakes his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts before making a move to go back to work, hoping to ignore the demon. What’s he gonna do, try to annoy him to death? That would suck so much.</p>
<p>“Is someone a little grumpy today? I wouldn't try to ignore me if I were you, Ry-Ry,” Ricky growled. Ryan gasps as he’s once again lost control of his body.</p>
<p>His arm goes numb and jerks to his left as if with a mind of its own. The sound of something shattering resonates in the building causing the previous light chatter to die down. Everyone turns in the direction of the smash to see what happened. Ryan flushes red at all the attention on him and looks down once he sees a few horrified looks. Smashed into dozens of shards is Ryan’s favourite coffee mug, the one Shane got him for his twenty-seventh birthday. That fact alone makes his heart ache.</p>
<p>He didn’t even realize what had happened until Ned latched onto his now bleeding hand in an attempt to stop the blood gushing from his palm. As painful as the gesture was, it acted as a means to snap Ryan from his thoughts. He let out a breathy “ow” when his friend pressed down on his hand a bit too tight.</p>
<p>“Holy shit, Ryan,” Ned exclaims, worriedly. He looks Ryan up and down, concern evident in his downcast eyes. “You okay?”</p>
<p>It takes him a few seconds to put the words together in his head. “Uh huh. Y-you know me, total klutz!” He uses his uninjured hand to smack himself lightly on the forehead. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, I’ll go grab some paper towels.” Ryan pushes himself out of his chair in an attempt to grab some towels until Ned stops him with an unmoving hand on his chest.</p>
<p>“Yeah, no. You can go grab the first aid kit from the kitchen and <em>I’LL</em> go grab some towels.” He leaves no room for complaint, already on his way to the bathroom. Ryan sighs.</p>
<p><br/>“Told you, dollface,” Ricky cooed. “Silly boy.”</p>
<p>Ryan lets out an aggravated puff of air as he makes a grim face, carefully stepping over the shattered glass. He cringes at the sound of the ceramic pieces crunching under his boot, symbolic in the possible destruction of his and Shane’s friendship.</p>
<p>He forces himself to ignore all the worried looks he’s being given from basically everyone in the office (as thankful as he is that they care about him, he’s not one who particularly encourages the attention to always be focused on him) as he approaches the kitchen cupboard where the first aid kit is kept.</p>
<p>He’s just about to grab onto the handle and open it himself when a looming figure behind him beats him to the chase. Momentarily fearing it’s the demon, Ryan swallows and turns around to be staring at his best friend's chest. He coughs and looks up as Shane pulls the kit from the cupboard and zips it open, carefully removing the necessary supplies.</p>
<p>Shane turns around and offers the items to Ryan with a sheepish smile. The shorter man shyly grabs them with a small, “thanks,” before setting them on the counter to tend to his wounds.</p>
<p>He soaks the cloth in peroxide and dabs at the laceration on his hand, wincing every time it stings. He’s only halfway through cleaning the wound when he tunes into Shane behind him, more specifically his beady eyes boring in the back of his head. Ryan glances over his shoulder to see Shane shooting him a hard stare.</p>
<p><em>God damn, he can look at me like that any day—wait… fuck,</em> Horrified and anticipating the worst, Ryan feels his face go numb as he narrows his eyes at Shane whilst biting his lip, maintaining eye contact with his friend.</p>
<p><em>OH MY FUCK! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!</em> Ryan screamed internally as Shane gawks at him in confusion and obvious surprise. The look on his face would be one Ryan would relish in had his unwilling flirtation not been the prompt for it. <em>WHAT THE FUCK?</em> Ryan all but screams at Ricky as he throws his head around, blushing furiously as he attempts to focus on the task at hand. Well, the task of hand, more accurately.</p>
<p>“What?” Ryan can feel the demon feigning a surprised look. “Is something the matter, Ryan dear? Here I was under the impression that you liked him.” Ricky innocently questioned. Ryan grits his teeth, angrily and achingly pressing the cloth into his wound. The rough contact causes Ryan to hiss out in pain as he glares down at his hand, blaming Ricky for his pain whether he was the cause or not.</p>
<p><em>Fuck off,</em> Ryan spits angrily in response. Ricky was terrifying but really really annoying. More annoying than he was scary to be honest. Ryan is probably forty percent afraid of the creature and sixty percent down with his bullshit.</p>
<p>Ryan almost didn’t notice Shane walk up behind him until he felt his hot breath on his ear. He instinctively goes stiff at the feel before he feels the horrifying sensation of his head and neck growing numb. He briskly whirls around to see Shane's face mere inches from his own, the taller man’s back hunched over so he can face Ryan eye-to-eye.</p>
<p>“Having trouble with your boo-boo, little guy?” Shane teasingly queries with a mischievous grin. His gaze falters when he glances down at Ryan's hand. Ryan can feel his heart agonizingly hammering against his chest at the close proximity with Shane. While he has been close with the other man before, he’s never been this close. Close enough that the slightest stumble could send his face onto Shane’s. As much as he’d like that, Ryan makes sure his body remains upright and stiff as a plank.</p>
<p>He chuckles nervously. “Heh, yeah.” That was all the clarification Shane needed to take the materials away from Ryan to begin on his throbbing wound, turning so he leans over Ryan’s back to do so. Which also means his front-side is almost pressed against Ryan’s backside, but the taller man probably doesn’t even notice, or care for that matter. He just focuses on Ryan’s hand as he tenderly cleans out the wound.</p>
<p>Ryan gulps as he stands frozen in front of his taller friend, fearful of making even the slightest move. He can’t help but find himself overcome with confusion at Shane’s closeness. <em>What the hell?</em> He thinks to himself as Shane leans in closer to inspect his hand better. <em>Dude if you don’t back up, my mind is gonna go to some very un-pretty places…</em></p>
<p>Ryan freezes in his spot as the familiar sensation of his entire body numbing. This time, pure terror overcomes him, to the point of him begging even. <em>Wait, no, please, Ricky—</em></p>
<p>“Jeez kid, you’re dumber than I thought,” The demon taunts from the back of his mind. Ryan’s body begins to move on its own, no matter how much Ryan tries to stop it. There’s no use.</p>
<p>He feels himself rolling his shoulders as he emits a low groan while arching his back until his hips meet Shane’s.</p>
<p>Well. If there was ever a perfect time to die, Ryan would seize it immediately.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Damage is Done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ITS LATE WE'RE SO SORRYYYYYYYY :(((((</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan freezes in place, his muscles tensing as he feels Shane stiffen behind him. He closes his eyes and curses himself as he braces himself for whatever will follow. He hears Ricky chuckle as he regains control over his body and he has to fight the urge to yell at Ricky for what he did. Hopefully the fallout won’t be too bad…</p>
<p>“Oh, my God, Shane!” Ryan exclaims, flustered as he straightens his back, attempting to mask the incident. He jumps and lets out a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, bro, I totally forgot you were behind me...” he tries for a lighthearted chuckle but it instead comes out strained and awkward.</p>
<p>Shane says nothing as he just stares down at his friend. “You’ve been weird today Ryan, is everything okay?” He shoots Ryan a questioning look. Ryan’s never been this touchy, never. The most contact they’ve shared is a few hugs, but in those instances, there was always context to it. A birthday, congratulatory celebration, maybe a greeting here and there. But now it seems like Ryan’s being extra touchy-feely because he wants to.</p>
<p>Shane scrutinizes Ryan with an unreadable expression as Ryan desperately tries to come up with any sort of excuse, something to explain his unusual behavior. He averts his gaze from Shane’s and faces the floor, abashedly. What the hell’s he supposed to say?</p>
<p>He takes a deep breath and tries not to sutter over his words. “Well-” he starts.</p>
<p>Shane interrupts with a huff; a dry, humorless huff. Ryan looks up at him, confused. “You know what? Just-forget it. You can talk to me when you decide I deserve your presence.” With that, Shane spins on his heel and marches off towards his desk, ignoring the alarmed look on his friend’s face as he angrily leaves.</p>
<p>Ryan stands unmoving and stiff in shock at what just happened. That’s it. He did it. He actually, successfully did it. He ruined his friendship with the one person he never wanted to let go of.</p>
<p>Wait, no. He didn’t ruin anything. It was Ricky who ruined it.</p>
<p>With trembling hands, Ryan finishes wiping the blood from his hand and bandages it up with some surgical tape and a cotton pad before leaving the kitchen. His movements are numb and his expression is pure disbelief as he wordlessly heads to his cubicle, ensuring he avoids eye contact with everyone. He all but falls back into his chair, muscles tense and body trembling ever-so-slightly. He sighs.</p>
<p>The work day was almost over as Ryan clued into everyone around him beginning to pack up their things. Damn, day over already?</p>
<p><em>Shit, I still have to finish that document,</em> Ryan groans and throws his head back, viciously rubbing his eyes. <em>Ugh, fuck.</em></p>
<p>“Are you finally willing to listen to me, Ry-Ry?” Ricky cooes, his tone dripping with satisfaction. As much as he wants to do so, Ryan represses the roll of his eyes as he slumps back in his chair in defeat, lightly spinning in it a few times.</p>
<p><em>Ugh, whatever,</em> He thinks as he logs back into his computer. God, he hates this. All of it.</p>
<p>~ ~ ~</p>
<p>Shane left work that day feeling slightly guilty about how he ended things with Ryan. Maybe something happened with his family and he was still recovering, or maybe he was just having a bad day? Who knows why Ryan was acting so strange. There’s a million possibilities, and yet Shane didn’t contemplate even one reasonable explanation that may explain Ryan’s behaviour.</p>
<p>The tall man lets out a sad sigh as he makes his way over to his car, keys ready in hand. He climbs into the driver’s seat and just sits there for a while, contemplating going back to apologize. Should he confront Ryan? No, it's too late, Ryan’s probably already on his own way home. They can just talk about it in the morning. If, of course, Ryan doesn’t keep trying to avoid him like the plague.</p>
<p>He turns on his car and slowly backs out of his parking spot, slowly making his way out to the main road. Why was Ryan avoiding him?</p>
<p>Shane lets himself dwell on the question as he continues home. Stopping at his third red light, Shane helplessly decides he honestly has no idea. He can’t recall saying or doing anything that might piss Ryan off to the point where he would actively avoid the other man. What could he have possibly unknowingly done that would warrant such avoidance from Ryan?</p>
<p>Shane sighs as the light turns green. Ryan had smashed the mug Shane gave him for his birthday. Maybe that was Ryan’s way of saying he didn’t want them to be friends anymore... The thought alone made Shane grimace as he recognized his neighbourhood approaching. But… why wouldn’t Ryan want to be friends anymore?</p>
<p>He furrows his brow as he tries to think of any plausible reason why. He pulls into his apartment building’s parking lot and immediately shakes the thought from his mind as he remembers that merely yesterday Ryan was normal. Completely normal. Not avoiding Shane or anything but was himself.</p>
<p>Shane racks his mind for any answer to his friend’s questionable character as he begins to his apartment. Every time they made eye contact Ryan seemed to have something unspoken behind those beautiful chestnut eyes-</p>
<p>Wait, beautiful? Since when did Shane consider his best friend’s eyes like that? Since when did Shane think about Ryan in that light?</p>
<p>He sucks in a shallow breath as he thinks back on the tiniest bit of interaction they’ve had all day; Ryan would glance over at him every once in a while biting his lip…</p>
<p>Shane quickly unlocks the door to his apartment and slams it shut behind him, uselessly tugging on his hair in frustration. <em>Stop it.</em></p>
<p><em>Jesus what the hell am I thinking?</em> He chides himself as he goes to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. What’s even the big deal about this? He’s never been so obsessed about Ryan before, why now? Why so suddenly out of the blue and while his friend decides to ignore him for reasons unknown?</p>
<p>He cracks his neck back as the clear glass begins to slowly fill with tap water. Staring at the liquid pooling in his cup, his mind begins to trail off to Ryan’s… unusual body language before. When Shane was innocently inspecting his hand and the shorter man leaned into him, pushing his hips back into Shane’s while he let out a small groan…</p>
<p>Shane chokes on air, water spilling from the overflowing cup as he jerks himself back to reality. He quickly shuts off the tap and sets the glass on the counter, eyes wide and wet hand gripping the counter top too tightly. Where did THAT come from?</p>
<p>Shane wipes his hand on his shirt and staggers towards his bedroom. He can feel his heart beating out of his chest as his face grows warmer and warmer by the second. He hasn't felt like this in years.</p>
<p>He lets out a shaky breath, reminiscing on all those times he and Ryan pretended to be a couple, whether it was alone or in front of the crew at work. But it was all in good fun.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Well, Fuck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>:))))))) forgive us :))))))))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan did his best to finish the document as quickly as he could without rushing his work, as much as he just wanted to go home after the stressful (to say the least) last twenty four hours, he knew he had to do the work he was being paid to do, and do it to the best of his abilities. Still, the temptation to just say screw it and go home was high. However, dwelling on what Ricky said after everyone left kept him planted in his seat, unable to shake off the interaction.</p>
<p>He could still hear that breathy, eerie voice almost whispering in his ear, “My presence in your body is all very simple, Ry-Ry: I. Hate. You. You are but a thorn in my side I will happily pluck and throw away. I hate everything that correlates with your existence and I plan to make your life a living hell before I get the privilege of being the one to send you to the real thing.”</p>
<p>Hearing Ricky’s voice in his head so malicious and passionate about how much he despises Ryan made the poor man both confused and terrified out of his mind. Immediately his heart rate sped up unhealthily and he could feel his skin getting clammy, his mouth dry and throat closing up on him. Holy shit, there’s a demon possessing him who literally just admitted to wanting - and planning - to kill him. But… why? Is that just what demons are like? Do they enjoy causing suffrage to others whom they don’t know? If Ricky needs a reason to hate Ryan individually as much as he does, then why does he?</p>
<p>Ryan released a sad huff as he began on his walk home. His thoughts drifted to his best friend faster than he’d like to admit, almost the second he finally left the Buzzfeed building. Should he call Shane and explain what’s happening when he gets home? Maybe there’s a chance he might believe him and he’d understand if he does it as soon as he can. Maybe then there’s a chance he can salvage their crestfallen friendship…</p>
<p>Ryan pauses, stopping for a second. If he confessed everything that’s been going on with him, there’d just have to be this huge confession or Shane would just assume Ryan’s crazy and dismiss his truth with perceivable lies. Ugh, Ryan’s so conflicted.</p>
<p>When he finally arrived at his apartment, he immediately kicked off his shoes and shrugged his coat off, exhaustively slumping into the nearest chair. He bites his lip as he can’t help but think about what Ricky forced him to do earlier that day. God, why does he have to feel this way? Why does he have to be so blatantly in love with his best friend?</p>
<p>Glancing over to the door, Ryan catches a glimpse of his phone peeking out of the coat pocket. He hesitates, mulling the idea over in his head.</p>
<p>
  <em>Should I text him?</em>
</p>
<p>~ ~ ~</p>
<p>Shane released a puff of air as he sank back into his couch cushions, prepared to binge watch some Netflix. As much as he tried to focus on literally anything else, he just couldn’t get Ryan out of his head all night. He absentmindedly lulled his head back until it rested against the back of his couch, staring blankly at his white ceiling. He could just barely distinguish faint laughter coming from his above neighbours. The laughter made his mind drift to Ryan once more.</p>
<p>He shouldn’t have blown up on Ryan, no matter how angry he was that his best friend was keeping secrets from him - secrets he could tell was eating him up from the inside. Shane just has to make peace with the fact that his best friend will tell him when he’s ready to and he shouldn’t pressure Ryan into saying shit to him. His heart lurches as he recalls the look on Ryan’s face after Shane all but shouted at him: “You know what? Just-forget it. You can talk to me when you decide I deserve your presence.”</p>
<p><em>Jesus, dude,</em> Shane scolds himself, groaning. <em>You guys have fought about worse stuff before, who gives a shit now? Ryan probably won’t care tomorrow, maybe he’s totally forgotten by now.</em> He just needs to stop thinking about everything surrounding Ryan.</p>
<p><em>God,</em> he can’t help but chuckle. <em>Easier said than done.</em></p>
<p>Shane growls in annoyance as he quickly fails to find anything decent on Netflix to help keep his mind off Ryan. Everything good he’s already watched! <em>Sherlock, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, The Umbrella Academy</em>, just to name a few. All that’s left that he hasn’t watched yet is the <em>Twilight</em> trilogy and <em>Riverdale</em>.</p>
<p><em>The only way I’d ever willingly watch either of those is if I was held at gunpoint,</em> Shane jokes to himself with a slight smirk. The smile falls as a look of concentration and stress overtakes his face. He sighs and runs a hand over his face, scratching at his head as he blows out a long stream of air from his lungs.</p>
<p><em>What the hell are you doing to me, Ryan Bergara?</em> He chuckles as he haphazardly throws the TV remote to the other side of the couch, unbothered by its destination. He can’t find it in him to care when that kicked-puppy look Ryan gave him before is all he can think about. His deep brown eyes glistening with hurt and pain, the way his face fell and mouth curled into a frown, the way his body tensed and sagged when the realization of Shane’s words hit him.</p>
<p>Shane shakes his head vigorously, trying to dislodge the thoughts whirling around his brain in a swirling vortex of not-helping. Just as he glances up, he notices his phone strewn across the coffee table. He bites his lip, hands itching to reach out for the device.</p>
<p>
  <em>Should I text him?</em>
</p>
<p><em>Nah, it’ll be fine. We’ll just talk about it tomorrow.</em> The two men simultaneously shook the thought from their heads. Had they both reached out, maybe things would’ve worked out. Perhaps they would have found a solution, spoken about their feelings and cleared the air. However, they both decided against it and chose to wait ‘till morning to have a proper conversation, convincing themselves “it’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>Shane let out an elongated yawn as he stretched his lanky limbs across his couch lazily. He rolls his head to the side, realizing how tired he is. He should probably get some food in him and then go to sleep, preferably soon. Besides, maybe by occupying himself with something like eating or sleeping, it’ll stop him from thinking about Ryan in this adopted… strange new light.</p>
<p>Rising on his almost numb legs, Shane pushes himself to his feet and heads for his kitchen. He stops dead in his tracks halfway to his kitchen. Somethings not right. All the hairs on his body stand on end as he warily glances around his apartment, trying to distinguish something unusual in his surroundings, anything to ease his strange turmoil.</p>
<p>The weird part is the fact that, after a thorough inspection of his whole apartment, nothing appears out of place. What the hell was making him so tense, and why?</p>
<p>He swallows thickly, his mouth dry and throat somewhat scratchy. He quickly shakes off the sensation dotting his whole body and just chalks it up to his senses acting up again. It must be that, there’s no other explanation.</p>
<p>“Jesus, I’m hungry,” He mutters to himself, blissfully unaware of the situation unfolding elsewhere...</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Panicked, Ryan can feel the air leaking from his lungs as Ricky grips him by the neck, pressing him down to the ground with his inhuman strength. His fingers dig into the sensitive, fleshy parts of Ryan’s neck and he can’t help but claw at the hand depriving him of his much needed oxygen. His mind starts to grow foggy.</p>
<p><em>Wait, how’d this happen, again? Oh, right.</em> He’d screamed at Ricky, momentarily muting the demon with an eloquent, “Jesus Christ, get the fuck out of my head!” As soon as the demon silenced, Ryan immediately realized what a huge mistake he made. Regret pooled in his stomach, dread and unease drowning his previous feelings of anger and annoyance.</p>
<p>With speed mimicking a bullet fired from a gun, a sharp stab of pure agony had spread all throughout his body, the shock and pain causing him to double over with a winded yelp, his body nearly spasming. Despite the muffled cotton in his ears from the suddenness, Ryan made out the deep growl of a sinister laugh that rang out. The sound sent an icy chill down his spine. Not because of the pain or the newfound vulnerability he finds himself subjected to, but because the laugh wasn’t coming from his head.</p>
<p>Bleary and out of focus, Ryan forced his head up to see a familiar devilish figure looming over his sprawled body, his eyes gleaming with a malevolent look of amusement and rage.</p>
<p>“Didn’t realize you were that much of a brat, Ryan Steven Bergara,” Ricky sneered, grinning evilly. Ryan’s eyes widened almost comically large as he frantically backed away, stumbling as he attempted to inch his body as far away from the creature above him as he can. His breathing became labored and raspy as the woozy feeling of lightheadedness overtook his skull. He felt every finger as Ricky wrapped his monster-like hands around his neck, squeezing tight. Ryan choked, coughing and scrambling to peel the hand from his throat. It proved futile as even if Ricky were human, Ryan would be no match for the other.</p>
<p>“P-pl-please…” Ryan gasps, lips trembling. “L-let me g-go…”</p>
<p>“I’ll show you what real fear is, so here’s some words of advice for you,” Ricky purrs, leaning in until here’s a mere few inches from Ryan’s face. “Think next time you decide to speak to me like that. Got it?”</p>
<p>His head is swimming, blood curdling screams clawing at his mind as a blood red wall trapped his vision. What’s happening to him? Is this it? Is he gonna lose his mind to a demon that he doesn’t know?</p>
<p><em>Please stop...</em> Ryan can’t help but squeak out in his thundering mind, in a feeble attempt to reach Ricky. He can feel his face redden, his whole head burning from the asphyxiation, his hands growing placant and still, resting on Ricky’s hand curled around his throat. He’s distantly aware of the fact that he doesn’t hear a response, not even a gasp in his mind as his whole body is encased in a fiery inferno, the screams growing deafening. Exhaustion floods his body as dozens of images flash behind his eyes; people bleeding from repulsive injuries as black molds of nothing feast on them with their sharp teeth.</p>
<p>A wave of nausea winds him, momentarily fleeing his body before returning full force once more. The world around him spins like a top. For a split second, he sees his life flash before his eyes just before his whole world crumbles into a pit of pure darkness.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. It's Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THE FINAL CHAPTER!1!!!</p>
<p>Thank you for reading and we might post some more shyan stuff soon!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks had gone by since everything came to a head. As the days passed, everything seemed more and more normal. Simple. Familiar.</p>
<p>At least to Shane.</p>
<p>They both went to work the next day acting as if nothing happened and it all seemed to play out smoothly. Ryan did his best to suppress his weirdness and tried his best to act as normal as he could, considering the circumstances. All seemed well. However, a bit… too well.</p>
<p>Despite his efforts to try and act casual, Shane couldn’t help but see right through him. The shorter man had been a bit strange. He’s been a bit touchy with Shane and dare he say it; flirty. He always catches Ryan giving him bedroom eyes and a sly smirk. Shane was getting more and more frustrated with him, especially after he realized just a few days ago his feelings for Ryan. Was Ryan just fucking with him? Shane wasn’t one to show his feelings but goddamn his best friend was testing him.</p>
<p>Yet, it wasn’t like Ryan either to be so forward unless he was scared of something. Only nerves would make him so blunt and straightforward. However, Shane couldn’t quite figure out what was happening to the shorter man, even though he just knew something was up with his boy-best friend. Fuck… what is wrong with him?</p>
<p>Shane’s eyes dart back to his laptop screen once he notices Ryan approaching him. He has to force himself to be cool and act natural. All because of these weird new feelings he has to actually focus on acting natural. How fucked up is that?</p>
<p><em>Oh god...</em> Shane swallows thickly as his peripheral catches Ryan just as he stops beside his desk. Taking a shallow breath to calm his nerves, Shane turns to Ryan and puts on his friendliest smile, trying to convey normalcy to the shorter man.</p>
<p>“Hey man, do you have the documents for the next true crime episode?” Ryan asks. He subtly leans his arm down on the edge of Shane’s desk, giving the taller man a comfortable smirk. Shane can’t help but feel like he’s leaning just a bit too close. Not that he doesn’t like the closeness, no! It’s just not something Ryan normally does. It’s… kind of out of the ordinary, which makes Shane feel the least bit suspicious. There’s that and the fact that Ryan’s voice sounds strained and lacks much emotion. He sounds monotonous and uncaring, and hearing his normally bubbly friend sound so defeated makes Shane feel on edge. What happened to him?</p>
<p>The desperation for the answer only increases tenfold when Shane finally looks up and meets Ryan’s eyes, his own widening in response.</p>
<p>To put it bluntly, Ryan looks like death. His face looks weather worn, almost like he’s suddenly aged twenty-years in the past day. His eyes are bloodshot and dark, deepened bags sinking into the folds beneath his eyes. His lips are cracked and skin is pale, too pale for his naturally tanned complexion.</p>
<p>And despite looking so beaten and worn, Ryan still has the energy to produce a strained smile to his best friend. And, being the best friend Shane is, he immediately asks about it, concerned and frankly shocked to see Ryan in such a bad state.</p>
<p>“Whoa, hey, Ryan buddy, you good?” He asks, his voice laced with concern.</p>
<p>A look of alarm flashes on Ryan’s face, most likely because of Shane’s response to his appearance, but after a second, he brushes it off with a laugh. Shane can’t help but furrow his brows at Ryan’s nonchalance.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, editing just sucks ass,” Ryan answers with a small laugh. Even his laugh is hollow and devoid of any joy. The sound almost makes Shane shiver.</p>
<p>Obviously, Shane isn’t convinced. The way Ryan responded seemed so rehearsed; he sounds like he’s lamented the same excuse over and over, but the thing that makes it sound so false is the lack of conviction in his tone.</p>
<p>“You sure?” Shane presses. “You don’t look too hot.”</p>
<p>Ryan remains unmoving by his original stance. “Yeah, I know right? What can I say, I sacrifice a lot of my well being for this damn show,” He gives a little chuckle, his tone more cheery yet even faker this time. Shane just sighs. He’ll talk to him later.</p>
<p>“Alright, if you’re sure. I’ve got the documents right here.” Shane answers promptly, grabbing a few sheets of paper from the other side of his desk to hand to Ryan. As soon as the paper is taken from his hand, he turns to face his computer once again, hoping his worry will deplete the more he doesn’t have to see Ryan’s clearly exhausted form.</p>
<p><em>Maybe if I pay less attention to him, it’ll just go away,</em> Shane suggests as he follows the sound of Ryan’s footsteps as he walks away from his friends desk. Shane inwardly groans. <em>Oh fuck, this is hard.</em></p>
<p>Ryan went home early that day.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Shane was driving back to his apartment after work when he decided to pay Ryan an unexpected visit. He figured whatever was going on with Ryan, he could use someone to relax with. No doubt he’s going through actual hell, physically and mentally. <em>Oh God,</em> Shane can’t help but think. <em>If he looks like that, what the hell is going on on the inside with him?</em></p>
<p>Before going to Ryan’s place, Shane stopped at the nearest convenience store and picked up a couple bags of theater-style popcorn for them to share perhaps while watching a movie. Shane’s heart flutters at the thought of Ryan falling asleep against his shoulder, just as he has before. Or even like that one time he fell asleep on Shane’s lap…</p>
<p>Shane smiles to himself at the thought. He finally pulls into the parking lot of Ryan’s apartment complex and parks in the visitor parking. He grabs the comically large bags of popcorn and struggles to close and lock the car as he begins to make his way up to Ryan’s apartment.</p>
<p><em>Stop worrying so much, Madej,</em> Shane chastises. <em>Everything’s gonna be fine. Ryan’s gonna be just dandy so quit getting yourself worked up over nothing.</em></p>
<p>And, just as he told himself, everything <em>was</em> fine.</p>
<p>That is, until he reached Ryan's apartment.</p>
<p>Awkwardly adjusting the bags, Shane gently raps on the door to Ryan’s apartment, listening intently for any footsteps. After half a minute, Shane knocks again, leaning close to the door. Still, he hears nothing. Shrugging and somewhat disappointed, Shane sags his shoulders and rations Ryan probably fell asleep considering how tired he looked earlier. Sleep will definitely do the little guy some good now, and Shane would rather jump out of a moving car than disturb Ryan when he’s so obviously unwell.</p>
<p>Shane lets out a huff of air and begins to leave when he hears coughing. He turns back to Ryan’s apartment and leans in to the door, face scrunched up in concentration. And, not a second after the first, Shane hears Ryan succumb to a coughing fit, one where the raspy hacks physically bring tears to Shane’s eyes at the painful sound of it. Poor little guy…</p>
<p>Shane knocks again and this time, calls out to Ryan. “Hey, Ry. It’s Shane. You okay in there?”</p>
<p>Silence hits Shane for a few seconds after he speaks until he hears a strangled sob from within the room, followed by pained hisses. Concerned and uncaring that Ryan will probably yell at him for coming in unwelcomed, Shane drops the bags of popcorn and throws open the front door, turning around the expanse of Ryan’s apartment to find the man. And when he does, his face goes white.</p>
<p>The poor man is lying on the floor by the couch, turned on his side as he coughs his lungs up. Saliva drips from his lips, his face slightly purple and hand clasped tenderly around his neck. Just the sight of Ryan so weak and helpless and in pain sends Shane to his knees in front of his friend, where he begins rubbing comforting circles on Ryan’s back.</p>
<p>“Shhh, it’s okay, Ry, it’s okay,” He soothes, as Ryan’s coughing gradually dies down. “You’re okay, little guy.”</p>
<p>Ryan sucks in a couple breaths after he gets his breathing back, his whole body rocking from the weight of his breaths. Tears leak from his eyes and he begins to let out hiccup-like sobs, one hand around his neck and the other holding his face.</p>
<p>One hand protectively clasped around Ryan’s back, Shane glances around the room, gaping at the sight of his apartment. It looks almost trashed; the coffee table is cluttered with skewed contents, the rug beneath the couch and coffee table is folded and pulled up at odd angles, the couch cushions are jutting out and strewn about. It looks like a mini tornado swept through the place and left it such a drastically untidy condition.<em> What the fuck happened here?</em></p>
<p>Shane’s pulled back to Ryan as he feels the smaller man feebly wrap his arms around his torso, hauling his body up until he’s sprawled in Shane’s lap, hugging his waist like a little kid. He presses his face into Shane’s stomach and Shane immediately feels the younger man’s tears dampening his shirt. He just hugs Ryan back and holds him tight, uncaring that his tears are wetting his shirt.</p>
<p>Shane hesitates before bringing one hand up to Ryan’s head, where he gently begins to run his fingers through the soft strands of Ryan’s hair in a meager attempt of calming him. He carefully cards his hands through his hair and smiles when he feels Ryan press into his touch, his sobs lessening until they’re almost inaudible whimpers.</p>
<p>They stay like that for a good five minutes until Shane feels Ryan murmur something into his stomach.</p>
<p>“Sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”</p>
<p>Ryan pulls his head away from Shane’s stomach and cranes his neck to look up at his friend. Shane’s heart shatters at the sight of Ryan’s pink watery eyes, his dark lashes clumped together from the tears running down his cheeks. His lips are pink and cheeks a rosy red, face downcast with tear tracks dried down his cheeks.</p>
<p>“I-I said I thought I lost you...” Ryan rasps out, his voice rough and raw. Shane frowns and tightens his grip on Ryan, pulling him back into his embrace. He can’t help but furrow his brows in confusion at the statement. <em>Why on Earth did he think he was gonna lose me?</em></p>
<p>“Wha-” He stops himself as he feels Ryan pull himself back up. Now basically sitting in Shane’s lap, Ryan still has to look up to meet Shane’s eyes, his face still moving even as his body stills. Shane’s eyes widen when he feels Ryan gently angle his neck down.</p>
<p>And then, suddenly yet so unexpectedly, Ryan kisses Shane.</p>
<p>Shane sits frozen in shock as he feels Ryan's soft lips press against his. After receiving no response for a few seconds, Ryan basically jerks his face back, expression scared and shocked as a deep red paints itself across his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Sh-shit, Shane I’m so sorry,” He stammers, wiping his eyes. “I-I don’t know why I just did that, I’m so-” Shane contentedly cuts Ryan off when he grabs his collar, pulling him back in for another kiss. Ryan gasps into Shane’s embrace as the taller man wraps his arms around Ryan’s waist, tugging him until he’s once again sat in his lap. Ryan reciprocates and threads his arms around Shane’s neck, relishing in the kiss as they stay, locked together, for a minute; unmoving.</p>
<p>They pull apart only after feeling too deprived of air. Ryan presses his forehead against Shane’s and catches his breath, sending hot air across Shane’s neck. He looks up and smiles at the sight of Ryan, sitting on his lap with his arms around Shane’s neck, lips red and swollen and expression painted with genuine happiness. Not that fake crap he tried to pull earlier.</p>
<p>Shane clears his throat. “I hope you know I still don’t believe in ghosts. And I still want an explanation for what the fuck happened here.” Though his words are laced thickly with sarcasm, he shoots Ryan a soft smile.</p>
<p>Ryan chokes out a short wheeze, looking down at his lap.</p>
<p>“Shut up, Shane.”</p>
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